Cults

I think I'd like to expand the definition of the word cult. I was thinking about it over the weekend, and some of the characteristics that we as a culture would associate with the word, and yet these seem to be missing from the definition of said word.

According to Princeton University's online dictionary, which seems to have some authority, the word cult may be used to describe:

• (n) cult (followers of an exclusive system of religious beliefs and practices)


• (n) fad, craze, furor, furore, cult, rage (an interest followed with exaggerated zeal) "he always follows the latest fads"; "it was all the rage that season"


• (n) cult (followers of an unorthodox, extremist, or false religion or sect who often live outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader)


• (n) cult (a religion or sect that is generally considered to be unorthodox, extremist, or false) "it was a satanic cult"


• (n) cult, cultus, religious cult (a system of religious beliefs and rituals) "devoted to the cultus of the Blessed Virgin"

http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=cult

So it would seem from those definitions, that a cult is either a religious, or even a pop culture type belief system, to which an individual can belong or be defined by.

In the strict religious sense of the word however, I think there is more to it.

A cult seems to require conformity of it's members. If that conformity is not met, then the person is either pressured into conforming against their will, or they are ostracized from the group.

Those within a cult would likely not consider themselves members of a cult, since they would accept as normal any practice in which members participate. Any members who does not wish to participate is considered a exception and is dealt with accordingly.

I have found it interesting to note, that more often than not, the enforcement of cult conformity is not necessarily carried out according to laws within the cult, nor necessarily under the direction of those who lead. It seems to be human nature that when we find ourselves included in a group such as one of these, that we require all other members to conform.

Something else which I have noted, which seems to be common within a cult is the inability of the cult to accept fence sitters.

So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
Revelations 3:16

There is no middle ground with a cult. You're either in all the way, or out.

I've been involved in a couple of cult type groups over my life and they're all the same.

First, the LDS Church. This is a religion which has many great principles, but it has also become progressively more cultish over the years - of course with that said, perhaps it's not that the degree of cult-like characteristics have changed, but more that the type of behaviors have been adjusted.

I'm at a point where I really don't know how to handle this. From a purely selfish perspective, I'm ready to leave, but unfortunately it's not that simple.

On the face of it, I have 3 options...

1. Ignore the BS I know about and just keep going along as a happy active Mormon.
2. Drift into inactivity.
3. Request my name be removed from the Church records and discontinue membership.

The problem with the first option is that I would be living a lie. One of the hardest things for me to get around when I first started having doubts was wondering about all the seemingly intelligent and open minded people who continued to believe. I suspect many people have doubts, but it's the group think mentality that keeps everyone headed in the same direction.

The second option would be OK, and it's pretty much where I'm at now, but it makes you the focus of attention. You become the lost sheep who has strayed and needs to be brought back in line, I mean, back into the fold. I can deal with the special invites to sporting events and socials, but the thing that really bugs me, is the discussing of my personal business and strategizing on ways to use my family to leverage me back into full activity.

I saw this last year with a neighbor of mine. Great guy, but he hasn't been to services for likely close to 2 decades. He has a 14 year old daughter who wanted to get baptized and he was fine with it. Next thing I know, some guy from the congregation is tell me (somewhat jokingly) to punch the guy in the face, because he won't let his daughter get baptized. Turns out the Stake President and the Bishop (Both a couple of guys who love the status their specific assignments give them) had visited him, and that's what prompted the change of heart. I have some idea of what may have been said and it would have pissed me off as well. Part of me thinks he should know what people are saying about him, but part of me thinks he's better off not knowing.

It's funny, how if I brainwash my kids and get them thinking I'll only continue loving them if they get baptized, them I'm a great father, but someone else who doesn't want his daughter getting involved, in a cult-like organization is somehow a bad father.

But moving on...

Option 3 is the one I would most like to take, but it has a lot of consequences...

First, my wife has an awesome family. They're LDS, but not the typical judgmental types who would disown her and our family if we left. They do however firmly believe that we might well be heading to hell if we do leave, and while they would respect our decision, it would cause them a fair amount of pain as well.

Second, especially in Utah, the vast majority of your neighbors and friends are LDS. If you opt to leave the religion, many view this as an offensive action. My wife has one friend that would stand by her if we did this - she's the only one of my wife's friends who have access to this blog, and if she can stick with her in spite of me - you know she's pretty awesome. Other than that though, my wife would be pretty much an outcast.

For myself, I've been able to get circles of friends outside of the religion. I have my triathlon friends, online friends and most of my co-workers are not LDS. On the other side of the coin though, my boss is LDS, and our initial relationship was a result of common beliefs. I think he would respect any decision I made, since he is generally a pretty open minded guy, but I suspect that even sub consciously, my defection may impact future decisions concerning my employment.

I could go on and on. My immediate family, especially my parents, are pretty much into the whole cult mentality as well. I haven't shared much of it on this blog, but some of the comments I've made in previous posts where taken the wrong way (or perhaps some the right way) and when I respectfully requested not to discuss them, a barrage of hate and accusations where hurled in my direction. It seems even within a family where a person should feel secure in being themselves and exploring the world around them, non-conformity leads to an ultimatum to either get in line or get the hell out.

I'll leave you to ponder on that. I think many marriages, families, religions and other organizations function this way. Some to more of an extreme than others.

It's a sad reflection on our society.