I'm at an interesting place in my life. Those who follow this know I'm having an inner struggle with the religion in which I was raised. There is much which I just don't believe and much where the organization itself has departed from it roots.
The one decision I face is... Do I stay and try and help steer the organization back to where it should be, or do I leave it and choose a different path for myself and my family.
My other blog was featured on a weekly round up this week, specifically the story on my son's experiences with the speech given by the President to School children. Part of that round up, also featured the gentleman below. I don't know if there is a nice way of putting this, but Todd has huge stainless steel balls!!! I've had the ominous tap on the shoulder before - IT SUCKS!!! Although I suspect Todd may have expected it.
You'll notice too at the end how a couple of men follow Todd to escort him out. I would have been tempted to follow him out as well, and offer a firm hand shake and a hearty Thanks. Unfortunately rather than effect change, I suspect Todd will be marginalized as evil apostate, likely guilty of homosexuality himself and shunned by all his friends and neighbors.
I feel a sense of pity but also respect for those who stay within the church to try to change it.
ReplyDeletePity because I am pessimistic and don't think they'll do much other than waste time.
But respect for their optimism and willingness to go through with it anyway.
Still, I have to wonder...since there is family involved...what would you do if they were hurt by your decision to remain? Or would there be more pain if you left?
I wonder if worse than wasting their time, they may strengthen the resolve of people within the organization - By having a common enemy, they fight against that, rather than thinking for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI'm caught in the family trap right now. My extended family, at least my parents have pretty much written me off - think like Marcus and Hypatia's parents, but in my case it wasn't a knee-jerk reaction, it was two months of thought before I received my letter "written with love".
My wife's family are awesome though, they've known I've been struggling for a long time, and have continued to treat me with the same love and respect as before, which gives me some hope for the organization.
As for my kids... I'm torn. I want them to be able to make that decision for themselves, but I don't want to be responsible for poisoning their minds against the Church, but at the same time, I don't want them to be sucked into it by feelings of guilt and inadequacy...
It's a tough one for sure...