This post probably belongs on my other blog, but...
Milestone #1
Being the Urban Koda was my first blog, and the next post over there will be post #400. I tend to be a little sentimental and put a lot of significance on things like that, so I want it to be something special. And this particular post won't be.
And after that, I'm sure you're really wanting to keep reading, right?!
Milestone #2
I'm at 298 friends on Facebook. It was 299, but I dropped one yesterday. It's not that I don't like the guy, but he's a homophobic bigot, and while he claims to believe in open discussion, when you use terms like "Worst President in History", "Marxism" and "if we socialize medicine it will destroy innovation and all the world will suffer", well... I just have to question his motives and objectivity.
And that brings me to the apology...
I don't like when people try and use semantics to say something while meaning something else. Just say what you think and be honest about it, and don't be a condescending douche bag either!!
Anyway, aside from his political views and his homophobic tendencies, most of which could likely be linked to the religion he belongs to, he's actually a pretty good guy. He was a Scoutmaster when I met him, and did an awesome job with the scouts, and he's a hard worker.
But that aside, I realized that based on his use of Facebook and mine, it really wasn't the medium on which a relationship between us should be pursued. So I dropped him.
This morning came the apology - well kind of...
Look if you where offended by our little discussion than I am sorry. I do not think that this little disagreement changes my view of you in anyway. I admire you, we just disagree on politics. I personally believe that these discussions are beneficial as long as we don’t take them too personal. If me being a traditional conservative, in likes of our founding fathers, is offensive to you than that is simply unfortunate. I honestly wish the best for you and your family.
I wasn't necessarily offended by him, but he was getting annoying. I know where he's coming from, because I used to be exactly like him, and I know that nothing I say will change his mind. But I really loved this line...
If me being a traditional conservative, in likes of our founding fathers, is offensive to you than that is simply unfortunate.
Obviously I made the right decision. Am I paranoid, or did he just imply that I'm anti-American and that I don't believe in the principles of the founding fathers?
And this from a person who's political party categorized as unpatriotic and treasonous anyone who questioned their leader for claiming God told him to invade Iraq, and lied about the reasons for doing so. Or is it only hypocrisy when you can't blame it all on your God....
The only difference between Bush and Obama, is that the President now is trying to improve peoples lives, not bomb the hell out of them. Well that and while one has socialist tendencies, the other was nothing more than a blatant fascist.
I apologize in advance for all the places in here where I tell you what to do. Of course, I can't tell you what to do, wouldn't really want to try, and don't mind one bit whether you take the advice or do something different. This is just the way it came out; hopefully you can sense the spirit in which it was intended!
ReplyDeleteOkay, after years of (sometimes unfortunate) experience in this area, this is my opinion on the subject...
Politics should have no place in a friendship. Period. There should be no discussion of it, no consideration given to it, no attending political rallies with people you think of as friends. In fact, should the discussion come up, even if you agree, as soon as you realize what's happening one or both of you should say "You know what? I value your friendship so much that I think we should stop talking now. Differing political views have divided and destroyed entire countries, and I want absolutely no chance of that happening with us." If you see a friend at a political rally, nod politely and talk about the weather, if necessary. If pressed on your reason for being there, state "I think it's important to support the political process. But I don't want to get into a discussion, because I believe that keeping my politics personal preserves the relationships I value."
Don't tell people who you voted for. Not even your family. Not even your kids. Not even if it's painfully obvious because of the "COEXIST" bumper sticker on your electric car (just kidding).
If you do all this and find yourself an innocent bystander in what is becoming a heated political debate among people who are supposed to be family or friends, step in. "Based on the volume level and/or emotions being expressed, this has touched some very personal nerves. Feelings or relationships could get hurt here, and it's just not worth it. You know what? The politicians or media who have spit out the rhetoric that is stirring you up don't care about you at all! No matter what side they are on, they don't even care about the issue as much as they've convinced you to... they have taken a side, and they want to win. And they are doing the things they have to do to win in the game of politics. I don't want to see your relationship sacrificed because some politician wanted another notch in his ultimately-pretty-useless bill belt. Let's talk about something else."
(continued)
Don't end friendships because of politics. Sometimes friendships have to end because politics is a symptom of a larger problem, and that's okay... but be sure it's REALLY a symptom, and not the illness. There are very good, caring, compassionate, loyal, CLUELESS people out there who parrot what they do because that's all they've learned. Or because their lives have been far different than we can know, and in that light their reasons for their beliefs are pretty, well... reasonable. If they are willing (and ABLE) to keep politics out of the relationship, then remind yourself why you originally liked them and move forward.
ReplyDeleteIf you can find one or two people with views almost identical to yours... a spouse, coworker, etc... let them be your sounding board. Vent on the issues. Write letters to the editor. Comment on blogs. Join a political group, and gab away at meetings. Be as political and active as you want... just don't bring it into other relationships, and don't allow other people to bring it in either (that's usually the harder part).
It distresses me greatly that relationships are destroyed and so much anger and hate is thrust into the world because certain politicians and their media and religious leader puppets will say or do anything to win. Especially when I found out that few of them really give a hot-dog about the issues or even the CANDIDATE they are screaming about! To politicians and the people behind the scenes, it's all a game... a great, big chess game of strategy and andrenaline rushes and seeing what they can get away with. And when it's finished, they move on to another. The only losers are the ones who gave up family and friends to support them.
So I my advice is... don't play.
clink
Personally, I like to keep my Facebook pretty light. If I want arguments and drama, I can get those from blogs and forums. The only person I've ever unfriended was my sister, because she used her status updates to make passive-aggressive remarks about mine. I just don't need that crap from my Facebook.
ReplyDeleteBut the funny thing about Obama is, not only is he not some sort of radical "socialist," he's not even very liberal. He's a run-of-the-mill, centrist, corporatist Democrat. He'd be considered center-right in a lot of countries.
The far right just lives in a fantasy world sometimes. As someone once said, liberals hated Bush because of the things he did; conservatives hate Obama because of the things they imagine he wants to do.
Kuri, I'm reminded of Jon Stewart's comments on the matter... I'm probably misquoting this but it was something like...
ReplyDelete"Guys, I think you're confusing tyranny with losing!"
Clink, No need to apologize. Advise, suggestions even criticisms are always welcome - how else could I improve! I think you offered some sound advise, but you did so in a nice way, with a great spirit - and I appreciate it. I need to do better!
To be fair... Prior to me connecting with this guy on facebook, we hadn't spoken in 2 years, and even then we weren't that close, more just acquaintances. It just gets a little old, when the only contact you have is negative comments about a persons opinion. I have a bunch of friends on their who think Obama is the great Satan, and Bush did nothing wrong. They don't bug me when my opinion falls out, and I don't bug them, and we seem to get on just fine!!
People are sick of the fear, gloom and doom. Get that out of the way, speak about hope and change, and Obama could have been a full blown communist and likely still walked away with the election, purely because he had a positive message.
Well, I wasn't at all questioning your judgment with that particular friend (if you noticed, I was getting all primed for a fight with him myself, had I not been distracted for days by the homefront!), and yeah, Facebook is supposed to be fun, right? I actually thought you handled it quite well... much more gentle than I was preparing to be (Providential timing on the ant invasion, I guess)...
ReplyDeleteclink
I was wondering when your follow-up was coming!
ReplyDeleteI think there are two kinds of politically active people. Those who like to let people know how they feel. And then those who like to jump in and argue with anyone who feels differently.
I think this guy believes 100% he's right and I'm wrong, which is always possibly the case, but I don't think you can expect a rational discussion with anyone who thinks that.
Politics and Religion seem very similar this way.
"Politics and Religion seem very similar this way."
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same thing.
clink