I got to thinking about her in the midst of a really long trail run a week or two back. I got the distinct impression that there were some things I needed to share with her, so perhaps I need to overcome my non-letter writing self and send her something soon.
I'm not sure what causes the voids between my immediate family growing up, and my extended family, but I think the major reason may have been the LDS Church, since with one exception none of them are Mormons and even that exception is a little bit of a stretch.
I recall as a child hearing that my grandparents had been Church hopping. While primarily Anglican/Church of England, they'd found that they didn't relate well to the minister of the local congregation, and so they had taken to attending services with other denominations until they had found one which they liked.
From what I remember, they did settle on one after a while, and to add insult to injury, it happened to be one with {GASP} a female minister.
The experience was related to me with a significant amount of negativity, but as I cast my mind back, I found myself becoming increasingly jealous of their situation.
In Mormon congregations, you could choose to attend services with a different congregation, but guidelines stipulate that if you engage in such practices, that you may not be allowed to serve in the congregation which you attend with.
As for visiting with congregations outside the faith...
Membership in another denomination is grounds for excommunication.
How would it be to be able to pick and choose a church where you would like your family to attend. To find one which reinforces your values, appreciates your patronage, and won't launch a witch hunt, if you decide that your spiritual needs might be better met elsewhere.
With all that said... I suspect this isn't a problem which is defined exclusively to Mormonism. I suspect any fundamentalist type religion would be similar, or possibly any religion where the vast majority of the community attends the same services would have similar problems.
Somewhat related, I received this excellent quote via twitter this week from xJane of Mind on Fire fame this week.
Men rarely (if ever) managed to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners & morals of a spoiled child.
R. Heinlein
Hey Koda, loved the closing quote!
ReplyDeleteI occasionally attend the local Buddhist Sangha. I used to be very regular and was at a point of activity where I would have been comfortable leading the meetings on occasion. My attendance has since gone cold over the last year. Last night I went back after taking at least two months off. From an attendance standpoint (checking off the role), no one cared that I had been gone so long. They were happy to see me. And, they didn't try to hunt me down to make sure I was still on the path or extend to me a calling so I "had" to be there every week. Most people there are so laid back that they didn't ask why I hadn't been coming. They simply showed love. One guy (a newer buddhist) did ask where I'd been and I simply replied with "elsewhere"!
I heard it put this way last night. Religion, doctrine, rituals (prayer, meditation, fasting, tithing, etc)...all of these things are simply tools to help you gain enlightenment. Sometimes these tools lose there effectiveness in delivering inspiration or enlightenment and need to be replaced (please don't repeat this from the pulpit on fast sunday). Just like a hammer is a tool that helps you drive a nail. After you drive the nail do you keep the hammer with you at all times or do you put it back in your tool box until the next time you recognize the need for it. In other words, it was very refreshing for the buddhists to love me, but the unconditional love is so foreign to me. They don't care if I've been going to church to take the sacrament, hanging out with satanists, or meditating in their Sangha. Each person is an individual on a unique path and their path is respected, no matter how obscure it may seem looking in from the outside. No matter what church they attend!
Thanks for kicking me in gear today. Keep up the hard work. I continue to enjoy your thoughts and ideas!
I can't think of another denomination that would excommunicate you for attending somewhere else (besides a Mormon church, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc.). There's some tension, probably mostly confined to family members, if you cross the Catholic-Protestant line, but it is extremely mild compared to the things you have described. Seriously... in our church, it's customary for the paid staff, for example the youth minister, worship leader, choir director, to actually attend services at and belong to a different church. Easier to focus on worship and not church duties, I guess. I remember when I was a kid, and all the Sunday School classes had ranks of pins to earn for good attnedance, you could keep advancing if you had attended Sunday School somewhere else, you just had to bring this little card with you with the date filled out, signed by the teacher there... interesting thing was, all the churches had their own cards, so it was very commonplace and expected. And this was among different denominations.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, it's extremely hard to leave the Jehovah's Witnesses, and other cult-like groups. Which I guess doesn't help the "Mormonism is not a cult" argument.
clink
You may be luckier than you realize.
ReplyDeleteJust a couple of days ago my whole extended family got a spam email from our TBM grandpa about the evils of socialized medicine. Meanwhile, he and my grandma (his wife) have had quite a lot of intensive medical care paid for by medicare (that is to say, ultimately to be paid for by his grandkids whom he's publicly stated don't deserve the same privilege). I'm absolutely disgusted, and yet I'm hesitant to say anything that may distress him, given that he's my grandpa and he's basically inches away from his own death bed...
I'm now a member of a Christian Reformed Church. The specific congregation that I attend is predominantly elderly couples, especially compared to other churches in the area. The pastor of my church acknowledged this and explained that if people went elsewhere for worship and services, he encouraged them to go where they would have a better relationship with God.
ReplyDeleteAn elder of this same church even encouraged my boyfriend and I to investigate and attend other churches. He said that it would be educational, interesting, and a great experience.
Coming from the Mormon church, I find this approach incredibly refreshing. It also feels like they're less scared of letting people out to see the world.