Unwritten

First of all, a huge THANKS to everyone who read and took the time to comment on my last post. My mind has been all over the place this week, from a fog of uncertainty to the crystal clarity that comes with know I hold the key to my own destiny. It's been taxing yet invigorating, depressing yet remarkably freeing too.

I actually had a pop-in by a couple of brethren from the ward last night. It helped that it was 2 minutes before I left for the gym, and was standing there in full work out gear, and the absolutely freezing temps I think helped a little as well.

I was extended a personal invitation to the Ward Christmas Party this Saturday morning, along with my family.

Actually it was kind of funny to watch the main guy dance around a little as he tried to convey the message of "Since you're never at Church, you probably haven't heard about the party", but do so without actually saying something that might offend me.

The other guy was the douche (I'm really liking that word at the moment!!) who I'm supposed to visit people with. Since a little confrontation a few months back were I said I didn't hometeach, and he said that I was about to start and then the conversation went south, we haven't spoken. It was actually really fun to watch him squirm!!

I was a sweet and polite as could be, and non-committal at the same time.

We'll probably end up going - there is free food after all, and since I've made significant contributions to the organization in the past, I feel it's the leave they can do.

Where to from here...

I'm still mulling over seeking some professional help, although I'm not sure exactly how it would help.

Logically I know the problem, what causes it, and what I need to do in the situation when it arises. The problem is that if the fear gets too great, my logical brain shuts down, and instinct takes over - sometimes not a bad thing, but I feel like mine may be a little overactive.

I actually think Brother Gregoire's laughing suggestion may be best... Not to piss the other party off, although that would be a nifty fringe benefit! But because it will give me something to focus on, in addition to the circumstances in which I find myself.

I'll be sure and keep y'all posted as this develops in the coming weeks and months.

For now, while I don't often post video and graphics on this blog, I felt the following song was rather appropriate given my feelings this past week, and it's by Natasha Bedingfield, past member of the Urban Koda Hot Babe Trifecta, which can't hurt too much either.