This is more of a humorous than a serious post, but seeing as I already put something up about the leaders of the LDS Church being gay, over on my other blog, I figured perhaps this story would work well over here.
First, for my non-mormon readers an explanation. In Mormonism you get assigned to people. Once you're a member you get a companionship of 2 men, who are supposed to visit your home at least once a month and ensure that your spiritual and temporal needs are being met. They're called your home teachers. Each of the ladies also have companionship of ladies assigned to visit them once a month, and these are call your visiting teachers.
We've had some pretty crappy home teachers since we've been married. Usually they haven't come, but those that do are a mix of those that genuinely care and self righteous pricks who simply do it so they can report that they got 100% of their numbers for the month.
I DON'T LIKE BEING A STATISTIC!
Fortunately the couple we have coming to visit us now, aren't really the statistical kind. The older of the 2 gentlemen, is a farmer type from Idaho. Just down to earth, genuine, and would give you the shirt of his back if he could. He's caught me skipping Church a couple of times, and usually gives me a wink and a shake of the finger - I can handle that kind of thing quite well actually. It's the sneaky, manipulative crap I can't stomach.
The other guy is almost exactly my age, and he's only been a Mormon for about 5 or 6 years. He didn't grow up in Utah, and so he's not completely integrated into the culture. He calls things as he sees them, which is kind of refreshing.
The downside is, that he is about as enthusiastic about Mormonism as I am not enthusiastic about Mormonism...
A little history here too... If you recall the light bulb incident... He was the one who called me, and allowed me to find out about the little lynch mob thing which had happened after I'd left the building following the incident, and know that my bishop is a lying sack of crap. I also have reason to suspect that he may have inadvertently started the whole thing, by suggesting that perhaps the bishop should have shown some discretion in dealing with the unfortunate incident. Out of everything that was done that day, I think his actions showed the most integrity, and class.
Aaaaaanyway! So I got a text from him last night inviting us over to dinner. We've got a little of the paranoia going, since he is a Mormon, and we don't want to be the target of an aggressive re-activation campaign. Of course if anyone in our neighborhood is going to be genuine and just have us over as friends, his family may be the people to pull it off.
We went back and forth a few times, but early on, my wife and I joked about sending a text over, asking if he wanted us to bring the beer.
When it finally got settled, I asked him what he would like us to bring. In light of the joking around, his response was hilarious - even though he had no idea what we had been talking about.
Sweeeeet U bring da beer We'll provide da frosty mugs!
Mrs Koda and I didn't stop laughing for a while!
We'll be picking up a couple of bottles of A&W though. We did joke about taking over a six pack, but if they are being nice, we don't really want to 'Kick the Poo!'
That's funny. I've noticed that Mormons joke a lot about alcohol, maybe because they can't drink it so it's a fascination thing. Hopefully you can just have a good time and they won't bring church into it.
ReplyDeleteTWG... I need to start using that, instead of writing your whole name out - plus I can never remember how to spell kaleidoscope out :-)
ReplyDeleteI think it'll be fun... If Church does come up it could be interesting though. He's a straight shooter, so I may just be completely open with him about my issues. I suspect we're not the only people in our ward with questions!
There may be something else, but Mrs Koda thinks I'm being overly paranoid about it, so I'll wait until after the dinner before I blog about it... Either way though I'll let y'all know.
Here's definitely a forum where I can say this and say this loud: I HATE being a home teacher! With the attitude about it around here I feel more like I'm spying and reporting on my neighbors, especially when we're told to, "Get it done."
ReplyDeleteHere's definitely a forum where I can say this and say this loud: I HATE being a home teacher!
ReplyDeleteThat's why we like you here Dave!
I'm with you 100% there. I was assigned as a HT to a part member family a few years back, whom I happened to be friends with. I stopped being a home teacher at the very same time. I'm friends with them because I choose to be, and I wasn't about to leverage that to try and get another member for the ward.
My best home teacher ever was assigned to our family for a year, and only ever visited formally once. But despite his abysmal stats, and lack of reporting, he was the best we've ever had. In fact, he's responsible for my current career path, and a host of other things. I think he actually got the philosophy behind the program... I've heard rumors around town that he may be headed in the same direction as me too, which may explain it!