I was never in the Young Womens program of the LDS Church - mostly because... Well, I'm a dude! However there is a lesson which many of the young ladies seem to have had, and it goes like this...
The teacher will bring in a tray with cupcakes on it. They will be frosted beautifully. The teacher will then lick the frosting off one of the cupcakes and then offer them to the girls. If it all works as it should, the last girl will only have the licked cupcake to choose from.
The objective of the lesson is: Don't let anyone lick your cupcake, because no-one wants a licked cupcake. Or in other words. Don't screw around before you get married, because you won't find a decent man who wants you.
Now... The topic of premarital sex is one for another day, although I should state that I disagree with the lesson of the licked cupcake.
I have someone else I know. As a kid, her parent gave her and her siblings a similar lesson. They pulled out a snickers bar, and the stomped on it and threw it around. It was the same basic lesson, except with the added aspect that sometimes you can't tell that a snickers bar has been stepped on, until you open it.
The lesson of the snickers bar then took another twist. It became a tradition in their family to give the bride snickers bars on her wedding day as a symbol that she had reached that day, pure and virtuous.
I happen to know for a fact that this young lady of my acquaintance did not - Not that there is anything wrong with that, however... When it came to her wedding day, she made it very clear that she expected to get snickers bars from everyone and that it was the most important part of her day.
I witnessed the whole thing going down. It was pretty sickening. People lined up with snickers bars in hand, and handed them over, muttering the words, "I love you". Except there was no feeling in their words. The expressions didn't match the words and it all felt incredibly fake.
Ironically, one of the lessons you can take from the lesson of the snickers bar, is that it's what inside that counts. And yet, this young lady wasn't concerned about what was inside. It was all about appearances. And from what I observed, it was pretty much the same for her family as well. All about appearances. Saying the words, but not meaning what was being said. Participating in a ritual just because.
Like I said before, it's not my place to judge her, and in all reality, I would actually encourage most people to experiment a little with their snickers bars before they get married. I think it only prudent. But as before - another topic for another day.
I thought about this, as I've been thinking of exactly how to approach my situation with my bishop. A though struck me this morning.
The Mormon Church is a monument to superficiality and blind obedience, built upon a foundation of fabricated history and corporate greed.
It's a pity, because as much as I abhor the founder of the faith, he did have a number of excellent ideas on how to live in a community, and if you add to that the teachings of Jesus from the New Testament, I think you could have built something really special and cool.
Sadly most Mormons today would rally behind their leader - Mr Glenn Beck, and decry Mr Smith as a socialist, nazi, communist with hitleresque tendencies. And as for the teachings of Jesus. Love your neighbor and forgive one another are all fine in a perfect world, but we live in a world with evil muslims and those abhorrant gays. It would appear that Christlike love has no place in the christian world.
This post reminded me of a different object lesson regarding how appearances can be deceiving. The teacher brought the point home by giving us cookies that had been made using salt instead of sugar and I will NEVER forget that taste.
ReplyDeleteOf course the great irony to that lesson comes in the form of how the church today has become so corrupted and has fallen away to the point where the Lord is through calling it to repentance and has begun cleansing it. The Provo tabernacle and missionaries being kicked out of Switzerland are just the beginning. The temples will lose their tax exempt status within a few years and the financial drain will be devastating.
While this goes a bit off topic I'd just like to mention the research by D. Michael Quinn (award-winning church historian who, of course, was excommunicated for uncovering things contrary to the watered-down history) and the work of Steven and Karen Davis of http://mormonstruth.org that have really helped open my eyes to the current situation. If you go there, be prepared to have everything you ever learned about Mormonism turned completely on its head but I can definitely urge you to do what I felt prompted to do, and that's "Keep reading."
"The Mormon Church is a monument to superficiality and blind obedience, built upon a foundation of fabricated history and corporate greed."
ReplyDeleteCan I steal this for my blog?
The weirdest thing about those "licked cupcakes" and "chewed gum" object lessons is that they actually contradict Mormon theology. For all its "sin next to murder" weirdness, the church doesn't teach that people enter some sort of state of permanent ruination if they lose their virginity. It teaches that they can repent and become as good as new in God's eyes.
ReplyDeleteDave P. - I'd like to see legislation which either removes LDS Inc's tax exempt status, or forces them to be completely transparent with their finances. I would love to see which option they would choose.
ReplyDeleteBecky - No need to steal, it's yours! Feel free to spread it around.
And Kuri... Exactly!
Being a licked cupcake seems waaay sexy to me now.
ReplyDeleteTranspose 'cupcake' to 'muffin' and the metaphor becomes much more overt.
ReplyDeleteA licked cupcake? The whole exercise assumes that someone's chief value is in their virginity, not in their intelligence, honesty, creativity, empathy, etc. It reduces human beings to their sexual status, which I find dehumanizing.
ReplyDeleteLOL, trust Lisa in one sentence to to forever change how I look at cupcakes. Thanks a lot, luv.
ReplyDeleteI think the church, or at least the temples, will be losing their tax exempt status within a couple of years. Either way, it's going to be an enormous financial drain.
ReplyDeleteWow! I loved reading this post! Although I don't think I will ever look at a Snickers bar the same, especially if someone has played with it before me lol!
ReplyDeleteI am so with you about the Mormon church being all about having the appearance of perfection on the outside, even if the inside is a total SNAFU. My husband's family, from my point of view growing up, had the appearance of the perfect Mormon family: always attended church, mom stayed at home, dad had a high paying job and was on the high council. It wasn't until I married the guy that I realized how awful things were on the inside. His mom was clinically depressed and had physically and emotionally abused him and his sisters his whole life. His dad was never home but his solution to any problem was to throw money at it till it wasn't a problem any longer. It so very depressing, but to everyone at church they were the model mormon family! Looks can be deceiving...